


Like Fairy Godmothers

by Leni



Series: Relativity Issues [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Background Rumbelle, Based on a Tumblr Post, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 00:19:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9408986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leni/pseuds/Leni
Summary: "Do you really need me to spy on the boy?""Of course not."Cruella hummed in disbelief. "So if I told you to grab your magic and take it somewhere else...?""You'll be disappointed you miss what comes next."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnnieVH](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieVH/gifts).



> If you're on Tumblr, you've probably seen this meme: 
> 
> [](http://leni-ba.tumblr.com/post/156156044053/annievh-lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks)
> 
> AnnieVH said.
> 
> This kind of feels like the plot of a Rumbelle AU where the witch is (the Black Fairy)
> 
> The devil is (Peter Pan)
> 
> The biological mom turned alcoholic aunt is (Cruella de Vil)
> 
> And the half-demon baby is (Rumpelstiltskin)
> 
> But instead of being terrible, the family is dysfunctionally supportive and wants to set him up with a pretty princess like (Belle)
> 
> Anybody wants to tackle that?

Cruella glanced over at the full-body mirror that Delilah had conjured into the living room, and rolled her eyes when her glass of whiskey was topped off at a wave of the fairy's hands, leaving her no excuse to stand up and move away for a refill. "Do you really need me to spy on the boy?" she asked, irked by her friend's behavior but not enough not to appreciate the better quality of her new drink.

Delilah scoffed. "Of course not."

Cruella hummed, tempted to point out that then it must be her company that was wanted. "So if I told you to grab your magic and take it somewhere else...?"

"You'll be disappointed you miss what comes next."

Cruella gave a long sigh. There was nothing of importance being shown in the mirror. Just the boy going about his usual business. He had chosen the guise of a pawn broker this decade, and for once it seemed that he would settle in his minuscule kingdom until faking the human lifespan proved impossible. All that power at his fingertips, and the boy never bothered to exert it. "I'm disappointed already," she muttered.

When she had decided to keep an eye on the boy, she had imagined a much brighter and infinitely more interesting future. Being raised by that low-life sweet-talker that was his father, and the powerful fairy who'd exchanged the equivalent of a hundred fortunes for a baby (and, to Cruella's credit, that had been the _second_ best deal she'd ever made) should have pushed Rum to great heights.

Instead there he was, standing behind his work table. Hard at work with an antique watch that couldn't be a tenth of his age. He wouldn't even charge more than what was fair for it.

Cruella yawned.

"Wait for it," Delilah whispered.

Since her glass remained full no matter how many sips she took from it, Cruella decided to go along with her old friend's wish. Minutes passed, with nothing more interesting than the boy biting out a curse when a screwdriver slid off place.

And then a bell rang.

"Six o'clock, right after the library closes," Delilah said, though there was no clock in view and she hadn't shown interest in a single book - much less a library - in the last century. Then she grinned. "See? There she is!"

The spell shifted its focus to follow Rum as he exited his workroom and came to check who had entered the shop.

Cruella felt the need to pinch her nose - or better, pinch _Delilah's_ nose, when she realized what had the fairy so excited. The girl that came into view was pretty, but beauty alone wouldn't put that eager look in the boy's eyes. Her smile, though, so obviously happy to see him too, was a better reason.

"No," she snapped, slapping Delilah's arm. "That's a bad idea."

"She is different."

"No, she isn't."

"He looks happy."

"He's looked happy before," Cruella argued, "and it only made it worse in the end. Who had to listen to him whine and moan when Milah ran away?" She shook her head just at the memory of those dark times. "Can't he at least fall for someone who won't grow old in a couple decades? I told you. I told the brat, too. Raise him as fairy. Teach him not to care about humans. But no, you and Pan had to be _cute_ and let Rum meet humans-"

"He was supposed to discover how useless they are by himself."

"-and then Milah came in, and you and Pan ran her out-"

"Please. I borrowed a pretty sailor from Neverland and put him in her way. How is the rest of it my fault?"

Cruella gave her friend a look. If there hadn't been a lust-laced spell involved, Cruella would give up alcohol for a year. "You took away his wife," she ground out. "You and Pan laughed about it to his face. Of course he chose to continue his life among humans! Even I couldn't convince him to visit for at least half a century! And look at him now, a square trying to fit in a round hole." The scene on the mirror, with Rum curling his hands around the handle of his cane in what Cruella knew was sheer nerves, made her cringe. "He has no idea how to flirt without trying to scare her away - and he _knows_ it."

"Fear makes for an excellent addition in a relationship."

Cruella humphed. "Says the woman who had to barter for a child."

Delilah shrugged. "That's all in the past. What matters now is that Rumpelstiltskin is happy."

On the mirror, the boy came to attention.

"You had to say his full name," Cruella groaned.

To the girl's confusion, Rum had suddenly snapped his mouth shut and straightened, all his attention suddenly on their surroundings. He slowly turned around, ignoring the girl's concerned questions, and fixed his sight on a point - staring straight back at his birth mother and fairy godmother. Then he snarled in anger, tapping his cane against the floor and sending a wave of power through the motion.

The mirror cracked, leaving nothing but a broken reflection of Cruella's living room on its surface.

"He's gotten stronger," Cruella observed.

Delilah nodded. Then she smirked. "That'll make this even more interesting."

"Why are you even interested in Rum's love life?"

The oldest of the fairies smiled. "I already had a child," she said, and her eyes sparkled with true excitement. "Now I feel like getting a grandkid. Doesn't that sound great?"

Cruella groaned.

The Black Fairy yearning for a glimpse of human feeling - the one thing her infinite powers couldn't give her - was how this mess had started. In the next seconds, Cruella thought of dozens of objections... and just as quickly gave up on voicing them. Delilah wouldn't listen to reason. Fairies never did.

(It was the one thing Rum had taken after.)

She tipped back her glass and swallowed down the contents, then quickly showed it to Delilah before the fairy magic could kick in. "I'm gonna need something stronger," she demanded.

Delilah grinned. "So you'll help?"

Cruella lifted a shoulder in a noncommittal motion. "I'll think about it."

 

The End  
21/01/17

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love!
> 
> *points at comment box*


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